it feels like burning.
in my ribs.
and the stomach area just below it.
tums wont stop it.
symptoms say its an ulcer.
and it burns.
it stings.
and i hurt.

today was kind of beautiful.
goddamn do I love Austin.
he's rather perfect.
and he never seems to want to let go of me.
and that makes me so happy.
he cares.
its apparent.
and I love that.
he doesn't mind my weird little things.
he thinks their cute.
and he listens.
he comforts.
and he lets me comfort him.
he talks on the phone with me.
even though he's not a big talker.
and he never lets me forget just how much he cares.
he tries to make sure I don't do stupid shit.
and I do the same.
I don't like to listen.
and neither does he,
but we make it work.
thats the beauty of what we have.
it works.
it fits.
and it feels right.
his lips are so soft and sweet.
and he knows how to be with me,
how to handle how horny I get.
how to handle when I try to rip off his clothes in public.
becuz he's almost as horny as me.
just very subtle in public.
I do my best to change that.
and quite more often then not,
I succeed.
and I love it.
he's okay with admitting when I'm right,
or when I win.
and I'm okay with admitting when he's right,
or won.
I feel dumb and stupid around him,
but not in a bad way.
in a way I'm okay with.
cause he doesn't make me feel shitty for it.
his hands, god his hands...
I love them.
I don't know why, but they make me happy.
I love his arms, their so strong, and covered in muscle.
his chest is amazing, its extremely sexy.
but he has the sweetest face.
the most amazing smile.
and beautiful eyes.
and his laugh, makes me so happy.
he makes me so happy.
he's got such a beautiful soul.
such a sweet, amazing, loving, beautiful soul.